Where's Cliff When You Need Him?
High drama beat high camp in last night's Eurovision Song Contest when Marija Serifovic's power ballad beat Verka Serdyuchka's bouncy bit of nonsense into second place.
Serbia's Serifovic appeared to be performing the song in the style of 'Prisoner: Cell Block H'. All sombre suits, thick set women and empassioned singing. It wasn't to my taste.
However I was rooting for the second placed Ukranian drag queen who had a striking resemblance to Timmy Mallett wrapped in Bacofoil. Any song that you can join in with after the first verse, no matter how ludicrous, should win.
Some tarty schoolgirls from Russia came third, with a Turkish gigolo fourth and a Bulgarian couple in fifth.
The Russian song was heavy on the kind of fruit laden sexual innuendo last encountered in 'Sledgehammer' by Peter Gabriel. The Bulgarian offering appealed to me, probably my second favourite; a bit screachy at times but I liked the drumming, which is just as well as that's all there was. The Turkish song has left no memory whatsoever, this is probably a good thing.
About the French effort...Oh my God! The song has passed me by but the performance was groundbreaking. It was performed by Les Fatals Picards which I dearly hope means The Flaming Homosexuals but I'm probably going to be disappointed on that one. It takes something to out camp a tin foil covered transvestite and his hefty backing singers, but these boys did it! A riot in Gaultier designed magenta and black outfits which included angel's wings and what looked like stuffed cat epaulettes they tore around the stage frightening the horses.
I can't finish without mentioning our own entrant, Scooch. In our house scooching is what the dog does when it has an itchy bottom and drags it's bum along the floor using it's front paws. The performance consisted of a group of flight attendents not seen since Alan Cumming in 'The High Life'. The song itself had the right bouncy, singalong, europop style that should have got it some votes but on the night the production seemed a little lacklustre and we ended up coming joint second to last with The Flaming Homosexuals. Ah well.
What did you think of the event?
The glory days...
Serbia's Serifovic appeared to be performing the song in the style of 'Prisoner: Cell Block H'. All sombre suits, thick set women and empassioned singing. It wasn't to my taste.
However I was rooting for the second placed Ukranian drag queen who had a striking resemblance to Timmy Mallett wrapped in Bacofoil. Any song that you can join in with after the first verse, no matter how ludicrous, should win.
Some tarty schoolgirls from Russia came third, with a Turkish gigolo fourth and a Bulgarian couple in fifth.
The Russian song was heavy on the kind of fruit laden sexual innuendo last encountered in 'Sledgehammer' by Peter Gabriel. The Bulgarian offering appealed to me, probably my second favourite; a bit screachy at times but I liked the drumming, which is just as well as that's all there was. The Turkish song has left no memory whatsoever, this is probably a good thing.
About the French effort...Oh my God! The song has passed me by but the performance was groundbreaking. It was performed by Les Fatals Picards which I dearly hope means The Flaming Homosexuals but I'm probably going to be disappointed on that one. It takes something to out camp a tin foil covered transvestite and his hefty backing singers, but these boys did it! A riot in Gaultier designed magenta and black outfits which included angel's wings and what looked like stuffed cat epaulettes they tore around the stage frightening the horses.
I can't finish without mentioning our own entrant, Scooch. In our house scooching is what the dog does when it has an itchy bottom and drags it's bum along the floor using it's front paws. The performance consisted of a group of flight attendents not seen since Alan Cumming in 'The High Life'. The song itself had the right bouncy, singalong, europop style that should have got it some votes but on the night the production seemed a little lacklustre and we ended up coming joint second to last with The Flaming Homosexuals. Ah well.
What did you think of the event?
The glory days...
subscribe to these commentsI was probably bored and doing something else by the time the suck on something quote appeared.
Ambiguous (13-05-2007 17:21:55)
lol U.K even got beaten by tarty rusians and some dykey lithuanian , still we beat a flat drunk irish woman , what an achivement .
revrobuk (13-05-2007 15:59:57)
Did you miss "would sir like something to suck on for landing?"...
garethwi (13-05-2007 15:15:38)
The one line in the UK one which really got me was when the campest of the blokes offers 'Salted nuts, sir?'
revrobuk (13-05-2007 13:42:13)
You'll never be the same watching UKTV again...
Lil Devil (13-05-2007 12:23:43)
I agree the Ukranian drag queen should have won by miles i loved that lol.
manny (13-05-2007 11:00:49)
Thought United Kingdom entry was class,so tacky but catchy.Deserved more votes, got to agree was rooting for the Ukranian Timmy Mallet to edge the votes.
garethwi (14-05-2007 10:05:13)