Who would be better sponsors of the crucifixion?

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Thousands of worshippers in the Philippines will this week practice crucifixion and self flagellation to show their faith. The government is encouraging them to get a tetanus shot first and be sure to use a clean whip or nails. "We are not trying to go against the Lenten tradition here because whipping has somewhat already become some form of atonement for sins for some of us," Health Secretary Francisco Duque the 3rd said.

"Getting deep cut wounds during whippings or lashings is inevitable and being so exposed during the course of the penitence, with all the heat and dust blowing in the wind, welcomes all sorts of infections and bacteria like tetanus." In San Fernando City 23 people, including two women, have signed up to re-enact the crucifixion at three improvised Golgothas. Four of them will use real nails.

The festival is sponsored by Coca-cola and a company called Smart Telecommunications.

Penitents are encouraged to "bring enough drinking water for the whole course of the pilgrimage to avoid dehydration, rather than buy bottled drinking water from unfamiliar sources." And tourists and spectators are warned: "It is also better to bring self-prepared foods such as sandwiches, not only to save money, but also to avoid getting diseases such as diarrhoea, hepatitis A, and typhoid after eating food bought from street vendors."

So... nowadays the most dangerous part of a crucifixion is a dodgy hot dog...