The fowl keep dive-bombing the players as they practise. A club insider revealed: "The geese have been returning for the past couple of years and can dive better than Cristiano!"

Manchester United have spent £10million on the Carrington training HQ, set in the Cheshire countryside. The source added: "Carrington was chosen by Fergie for its privacy and security, but one of the drawbacks of being out in the sticks is the wildlife."

Facilities manager Clive Snell admitted: "There is a nature reserve within the boundaries and we've got two lagoons on site as part of our water treatment system. The reed beds attract the geese, who have been flying in and laying their eggs."

Personally speaking... I might actually watch a football match if at least one of the teams were geese.

Right lads, next week we're away to Bolton.

The original was here