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When We Were Told About Protection I Thought They Meant Pads And A Box

A leading cricket coach is urging his team to have more sex to help put a spring in their performances.

Gary Kirsten has told the Indian national team to "go ahead and indulge", saying regular romps in bed increase energy and aggression on the field.  And he advises them that if they haven't got a partner to "go solo", which cuts down on "pillow talk and hugging". The advice from Kirsten is in stark contrast to the sex ban imposed on England's football players by Fabio Capello.

Strict disciplinarian Capello has told his stars they can have sex only once a week during next summer's World Cup, warning disappointed WAGs: "If you don't like it, don't come." A dossier he produced has a chapter entitled: "Does sex increase performance?" The conclusion is: "Yes it does, so go ahead and indulge. Having sex increases testosterone levels, which cause an increase in strength, energy, aggression and competitiveness. 

It adds: "If you do not have someone to share it with, go solo whilst imagining a beautiful partner." The dossier was given to India stars such as Sachin Tendulkar, bowler Harbhajan Singh and playboy batsman Yuvraj Singh - who has reportedly enjoyed flings with a string of Bollywood beauties. Last night England spin bowler Graeme Swann joked: "This is the sort of forward thinking the game needs." 

However his skipper Andrew Strauss said advice on sex was "unlikely" to become part of England's preparation.  And Aussie captain Ricky Ponting was left almost speechless when asked about sex by a female Indian reporter.

Insert own joke about movement in the popping crease here.


Leaving it until just before the match proved to be a mistake.

The original was here



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